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How can we live more authentically? 

It seems that each one of us holds a deep inner yearning to live authentically. It also seems a key part of that authenticity is encapsulated by Pierre De Chardin in his famous quote: 

“we are spiritual beings having a human experience”. 

Deep down we may sense this or know it to be true about who we authentically are, yet we often have a difficult time accepting it, knowing it, and or living it. 

Ironically, to better understand our authenticity requires some skepticism about who and what we have told ourselves and listened to about what the world has told us, re who we are. Part of our dilemma is the attachment we have to the person we’ve tried to be (ego or persona) to get along. 

This short video by Gabor Mate addresses this briefly…

In the Bible’s New Testament, Romans chapter 12 Paul writes “do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” 

To “conform to the world” is something we all do. We experience conforming as necessary from a very young age and as we grow into adulthood. We can experience times when we sacrifice our authenticity to ensure fitting in, getting along, or perhaps even surviving depending on the circumstances.  

Conforming is part of our survival mechanism and helps us thrive under the outer “rules and norms” which come from our families, communities, places of worship, workplaces, countries, regions, affiliations, etc.

The paradox is that we know who we really are deep within, spiritual beings, having a human (world conforming) experience. 

We could stop here but it’s important to experientially explore the inner conflicts that exist and have arisen within each of us over time. 

These inner conflicts take many forms, including various levels of trauma, and it helps to address them to understand our authenticity which includes acceptance, spiritually speaking, of who we are and Divine Love which spiritually speaking, embraces and guides each of us. 

Please take a few minutes to watch this brief video by Bessel van der Kolk re trauma. 

We’ll work though some breath, mediation, and other practices in order to begin to discover our own sense of Divine authenticity within. 

Practice for your consideration:

Utilizing the story of Peter from the New Testament, utilize prayerful consideration of Peter’s life and actions (words too) to notice what speaks to you re “attachments” and or “authenticity” in Peter’s experience as a guide or mirror for your own journey. 

Once you’ve had a chance to consider Peter’s (and your own) experiences, ask God to guide you to see it all through a Divine Perspective, looking at you (and Peter) as  beloved children of the Holy of Holies. 

Consider what might be some things to do or not do(or things you want to do but are not helpful to the current relationship/context you’re considering) and work through various scenarios. 

In our modern way, we’ve complicated and justified a fairly simple act… “you who is without sin, throw the first stone” … in brief, we project our inner stuff onto others to make ourselves feel better.

Most know Jesus invited the crowd to step up if they were without “sin” and throw the first stone. They all walked away, knowing each of them, all of us, carry stuff within we’d rather not. And we deal with our own inner turmoil around whatever it is by “hurling it” onto someone else, and often we add the inner or outer comment “at least I’m not like that”

I’ll save you time today…

If you’re wondering if this applies to you, jump to the next question and ask how this applies to you. Because all of us humans fall into this trap. I know, I know, but you don’t want to be “like that”.

At present our political discussion in the U.S. has reached a place of collective stone throwing which is perpetuated by our inner desire to be the one (or the ones) who is right or good.

They are clearly worse than me… is our current collective mantra. Over time we will each be stoned by the crowd we thought we were once a part of.

Humility comes to all of us over time…

Our modern inner prisons of power, authority, and self-righteousness, can be escaped but the key of humility is often dismissed or utilized only as a prop.

Every spiritual and religious tradition point us to humility as the key or root to spiritual growth. Jesus looked lovingly at the rich young ruler and offered this “sell all you have, give to the poor, and come follow me” in answer to the young man’s question of how to inherit eternal life.

In modernity, we might hear this as a materialistic story of bygone days but hear the deep truth from the voice of Love. Embrace your own humanness, you own humanity, your own humility, and you will find your way home because each of us is Beloved in spite of our own (inner and outer) stuff.

Humility is the path, let us join arms and walk the path together.

Listening to many podcasts, on economics, religion, society, philosophy, spirituality, etc., some seemingly on the right or conservative side and others seemingly on the left or more liberal, progressive approach, it seems we’re most often starting from the wrong place for the discussion.

As I think about it in brief, it seems both (all?) sides seem to be chopping wood in the wrong forest. Let’s name that forest “I know” or “I’m in charge” or “if I don’t look out for #1 who will?” or “I need more control”, or “I’m a part of the group that has the best solution”… you get the idea.

The problem is that our thought constructs continue to run into each other because they are trying to achieve the same goal which is based on external stuff (structural, and material outcomes). We further our difficulties by not being able to ever realize we’re in the wrong forest.

Turns out, voila!, there’s only one forest. So how do we suddenly find ourselves in the right forest? by focusing on Love, especially compassion and mercy. Both are needed. Both are difficult for their own reasons.

Right forest compassion invites us to co-suffer with others. One’s deep compassion can be tapped into when one can come alongside one’s own suffering and the suffering of another to bring healing, restoration or reconciliation in some way.

Right forest mercy points us to care for people that have hurt us and or still want to or strive to in some way. This becomes a difficult inner move and means we learn to embrace our own need to be treated mercifully based on the ways we have knowingly and unknowingly hurt each other and ourselves. This may seem difficult and I think it may be one for the most difficult things to do… and yet, it is doable.

I’ll stop there for now because you may need a little time to digest this and begin to consider, in your own life and experience how you often look in the wrong forest for everything but compassion and mercy and think about times when you’ve experienced compassion and mercy suddenly discovering yourself in the right forest.

If you’re waiting for someone else to go first, I hope you’ll realize you’re still defending your many efforts in the wrong forest.

Standing by to help you explore the forest.

The other day I ran into a friend and as we were catching up they mentioned not sleeping well. Further, they said that during times of prayer and quiet, they were experiencing thoughts and feelings they didn’t want to have or that were difficult. We talked a bit longer and I shared what I find to be a common pattern among prayerful people…

When we engage prayerful, contemplatively and genuinely, seeking some Divine guidance or discernment, we are often met with the Agenda which is not our own. That is to say, we can know that whatever is coming up for us during prayer is from the Holy of Holies but because we carry our personal agenda into prayer, looking for specific direction, if we’re sincere, we don’t always get the guidance, clarity, etc., that we had planned to.

I recall a time of prayer when I was really seeking Divine Will… actions I could take that would be on the right path… one day, I finally said God “teach me to pray” and voila, I had the deep sense of Love within and around me.

My going to quiet in prayer was a good thing but my determined agenda was the problem. I was looking for marching orders that were not forthcoming because Immanuel – God with us – was drawing me into quiet to let me know how much I was and am loved.

In brief, if you’re getting a strange message in times of prayer, or seemingly no message at all, pause a moment and ask Love to show you how to pray, what to look for, what to ask for, and recall that you are Loved, deeply, eternally, and that may be the main message you need to hear from our Beloved.

Standing by with you and for you as you explore your soul’s journey. Feel free to call, write, text, anytime.

Happy holidays, happy thanksgiving, merry Christmas, Happy New Year, have a good weekend, have a good day, it’s all good, etc.

We’re really setting ourselves up. Candidly none of us are up to the task of faking all that happiness and goodness. Yet, we all pretend and think we’re the only ones who are; sad, angry, afraid, lonely, jealous, selfish or a host of other things we don’t want to be and or don’t want to feel.

Here’s the thing about this. Pain is inevitable, some suffering is inevitable, much of our suffering is caused by our efforts to avoid pain and suffering.

Yes, avoidance causes most our suffering. And most of us have become really talented, often by practicing for decades, at avoiding pain and adding to our suffering, actually piling on, thinking we’re helping ourselves or others.

Being kind to ourselves is often the hardest and most important first step. Being kind to ourselves begins to align us with Love from beyond yet within bringing us a deep knowing that; we are welcome, we are held, we are enough, we are home. Allow yourself to be kind to you and you will more deeply understand the Love which is here for you, me, each of us, all of us.